It’s not every week that someone writes a throwback article. Oh wait, yeah it is! It’s Thursday and it’s time to drown out the mediocrity of the charts and cast our mind back to a better time where people shopped at Virgin Megastores and Michael Jackson was rife.

Cast your mind back, to the glorious year 2002, where a band of … talented? Yeah, talented… we’ll go with talented… TALENTED musicians under the name of S-club 7, launched their cataclysmically, revolutionary, chart topping super album – DON’T STOP MOVIN’. There seems to be an apostrophe, so come on it, must be good. Let’s Throwback Thursday!

In hindsight, I probably should have picked an album that was released all over the world rather than just in the USA, but hey, it’s S Club 7 so who the fuck cares. Also if you wondered when clicking on this article if there would be a bias towards S Club 7, congratulations, you were correct.

First track, Don’t Stop Movin’ hit number one in the UK shortly after its release, but then again in July 1990 so did Turtle Power, the sound track to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), so that speaks volumes for the UK charts. The track is pretty much the soundtrack, in my mind, of all memories involving primary school disco parties, kicking balloons and eating diabetes inducing cake. Anyway, the track samples Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean, probably not a fact they will promote with their upcoming reformation, after fresh allegations about Jackson’s perversions surfaced. Saying that, at least they did not sample the Jim’ll fix it theme.

You forms another hit track on this album, managing to climb to number two on the UK charts and I would describe it as a retro, annoyingly catchy (like Herpes), and degrading for Rachel Stevens in the music video, is has all the trappings of an S Club 7 hit. It was also the last track Paul Cattermole featured on before his departing from the club of S and 7.

Have You Ever is yet another track that reached number one in the UK charts, apparently there was not much competition in 2001, and features Jo heavy vocals, it hurt slightly to listen to as I find S Club 7 as much nauseating as I do nostalgic but I will do anything for Facebook likes, so please dear god like this article otherwise I subjected myself to something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Alive is the last song I’m going to delve into as it’s really the only noteworthy track left on the album, this time the track got to number five in the UK charts and features samples and child-disco friendly lyrics and beats. Alive proves that Rachel Stevens could have literally recorded a sound clip of her shitting in a metallic bin and released it as ‘Binning’ – S Club 7 and it would rate in the top ten of the UK charts.

Overall, a successful chart topping album.

If you are an S Club 7 fan, congratulations, I hate you.


Liam Cartwright